How I saved my carpet with cloth diaper soap.

Yes, this grossness was my carpet. This is exactly where all the kids sit to watch movies or play xbox so you know this poor carpet was just foul. I got it in my head that I was going to try and salvage the carpet but all I had on hand was a little bit of Folex and Rockin Green laundry soap. I thought I had heard people say they used Rocking Green so I gave it a shot. Now, I am not going to lie and say our carpets look new. But they did look 100% better than they did before the process. So until the hardwood floor faeries come and grand me the wish of hardwood floors, I am stuck with off white carpet (seriously, who thought offwhite would be good for anyone?)

I only used the Folex on the big stains.. like the ground in PB&J (thanks jerktoddler) and a chocolate milk spot.  I am going to update this post again in a few days because I am going to tackle my dining room next. Yes,some fucking moron put offwhite carpet in a DINING room. And two other morons didnt buy an area rug *looks at G* That will be the true test of Rockin Green!

Our temporary mail man hates me.

We have a substitute mail man right now and he actually complained to me how many packages we are getting. Uh, dude... Christmas is in two weeks?! And I do most of my shopping online. If I can find an amazing deal, with free shipping- you can bet I am not going out to the stores to shop around people. When I shop online they don't care how I am dressed, my hair can be a mess and my kids can be total nightmares and the only person they are pissing off is me. So if my new mailman for the moment is mad about the packages, he just might be in the wrong line of work. What I don't get is how they can hire someone like my friend S or our regular mailman who is awesome and then hire this dipshit. We always know when our guy is gone too because we get no mail for a day or two then BAM my mailbox is full and I have a strange mail man complaining about the packages he has to deliver to me.

In my defense most of my packages have looked like this:

(not my photo, I stole this off of tinypic)

I have had one HUGE box and one kinda big box delivered,the rest were like this. I don't even think he had to deliver the biggest one because I am pretty sure it came UPS. Sadly, my packages are coming to an end the closer we get to Christmas. My shopping is done except stuff I HAVE to go to the store for.  I wish I had more coming so this dude could tell me over and over I have too many packages. And I am totally going to whine to my regular mailman. Luckily, lazymailman told me he is just her temporarily and we will get our good mailman back soon.. pretty sure between all my packages and my sigh of relief when he said he was only temporary made me the top of his most hated list.

Childproof scissors are not hair proof

I think it has happened to most parents.. that dreaded "quiet" where you know something is up. As a parent of 6 I should know better than to think its nothing. Today I learned that childproof scissors are not hair proof. You would think I would have learned that previously in my 23 years as a Mom but nope.. I knew they would cut the hood off a hoodie, I knew that they would cut a book up in the blink of an eye.. but I had no idea they would cut huge chunks of hair off my little dudes head.

When the horrible " Look Mom I cut my hair" happens and it is a girl you can usually trim it or use clips to hide the offending cut until it grows out. No such luck today when my son cut down to the scalp in three spots. I would have let him walk around like that except well, we all know the side eye looks I would have gotten for that.

Come on, we all know it. I would totally do it to another Mom. So instead I just shaved his head. The kid has the biggest head I have ever seen. Worse than the huge ass foreheads my girls have.. this kid NEEDS hair to cover the size of his head.

So instead of looking like a Mom who does not pay attention to what her almost three year old does, he looks like a three year old who had to be de-liced or something equally as horrid. He also has cradle cap STILL so that looks super awesome.

Today I have had a parent fail and I want everyone to know that if you have been a Mom 1 month or 23 years its ok to fail sometimes. Besides when MelonHead is a teenager and tells me he wants to shave his head, I have this picture to show him that isn't a good idea. Seriously, that head is huge.